Pamper your partner. All that is required is a sensitive and loving touch - and a little imagination. We show you how.
A woman’s body can be far more sensitive and sensuous than a man's. This is particularly true of the genital area, where a woman can enjoy a greater variety of pleasures. For the truly loving couple, there are many ways for a man to please his partner using his hands, mouth, penis - and countless other things to do when the mood is right.
An enjoyable starting point to any sex play is to bath or to take a shower together. This allows the man to soap his partner all over, to caress her body and eventually to wash her genitals. When soaping a woman's vulva area, be careful not to push soapy fingers inside the vagina itself. The vagina does not need any artificial cleaning - it looks after itself.
Also, soap can be forced up the short urinary passage and cause stinging or even cystitis. So just wash the outside.
While in the shower, it can be great for a woman to have a shower spray directed on to her vulva. Some women find this so exciting that they have an orgasm. But do not push the shower head too close to her vulva as it could force water under pressure up into the urinary passage or the vagina.
Partial penetration can be a great turn-on. Partly insert the penis into her vagina and move it from side to side.
Using your hands
Probably the most common and most enjoyable form of manual stimulation for women is caressing the vulva.
Start at the tops of her thighs and work all around the vulva, gently stroking her lower tummy, her thighs and her perineum (the part between the anus and the genitals). Then slowly work closer towards her clitoris and inner part of the vulva itself. Run your fingers up and down the insides and outsides of the outer lips. Squeeze them gently between finger and thumb. Caress the areas on either side of the clitoris in the way she likes best.
Watch and learn
Every woman has her own unique way of stimulating her clitoris, and this can only be learned if the man watches her masturbate, or is guided in detail by the woman herself as he does it. When watching a woman masturbate, take careful note of:
• The exact length of stroke she uses.
• Which part of the clitoral area she favours (this changes in many women as they become more aroused).
• What speed of caress she uses (this changes in many women too).
• The amount of pressure she applies to the part being caressed.
• Whether she stops and starts or continues until she has an orgasm.
• Whether she dips her finger, or fingers, inside her vagina at any time and how she maintains lubrication.
• Which other part of her body she stimulates while all this is going on.
• What the tell-tale signs are when she is about to climax.
Only if you know about most of these things will you really be able to give her the quality of orgasm she obtains herself. Many women enjoy caressing their breasts, nipples, or some other part of their body while masturbating, and given that this uses up one hand and that their other hand is stimulating the vulva or clitoris, they have nothing to spare to do anything else they might enjoy. Ask your partner what she would most like or, if she is too inhibited to be able to say, try stimulating different parts of her body and ask her to tell you whether she likes it or not.
Next, use your fingers to stretch her vaginal opening. Ensure that your fingers are well lubricated with her secretions or your saliva and insert first one, and then two fingertips into the vaginal opening.
Run them around the opening, not going deeply inside first. Massage the opening quite firmly and slowly, as she becomes excited. Insert more fingers until she says enough and then rotate your whole hand. She may well now want your fingers pushed deeply inside and held there or worked in and out as if they were a penis thrusting.
Once your fingers are inside her vagina, you can feel for two structures that give some women exquisite pleasure. The first is the cervix.
Taking photographs of her in erotic positions can be an exciting prelude to a long session of lovemaking.
Cervix with a smile
In terms of what they enjoy having done to their cervix, women vary greatly. This also varies according to the time of her menstrual cycle. Some women find any form of cervical caress unpleasant or even painful, while others are greatly aroused by it. It is up to each man to experiment with his partner, at different times of the month, to see what best suits her.
Be cautious and do not do anything that could hurt or damage the cervix. Keep your fingernails short, and if you have a cut, or an infection of the skin, do not put your fingers inside a woman's vagina. Also be careful not to caress her anus before putting fingers inside her, as this could give her an infection.
Finding the G-spot
The next thing you can do with your hands is to find her G-spot. This can be difficult at first, but it is worth persevering because of the intense pleasure it can provide.
Let her lie face down with a bulky pillow under her hips and, with your hand palm downwards, insert two fingers along the front wall of her vagina. About one third of the way down from the cervix to the vaginal opening is an area that she will most likely enjoy having stimulated. Stroke this and see what her reaction is. Keep on stroking and massaging this area until she says she has had enough or she climaxes. Not all women find this enjoyable or even arousing, so be guided, as always, by what she says.
Using your mouth
The whole vulval area can be kissed, licked and sucked. Smother her with kisses, starting some way from the vulva and clitoris and gradually closing in on them as she becomes increasingly aroused. Find what kind of oral stimulation she likes best applied to any one area.
The outer lips can be sucked and licked. The vaginal opening kissed and licked, with or without putting your tongue into it. The clitoral area kissed and licked - but never bitten. You can run your tongue around the vaginal opening in a teasing way, without actually putting it inside.
Rude food
An addition to this game is to put some sort of food over the vulva and then lick it off. Cream is nice, as is yogurt or even a little honey. For extra fun - and only if you both agree - put a banana or confectionery bar gently into her vagina and eat it out of her, being sure to lick off all the remains of the food before going further with your lovemaking.
There are many pleasurable things to do with your penis which stop short of intercourse:
• To begin with, ignore her vagina and use your penis to tease and tantalise the rest of her body. Rub it over her breasts, teasing each nipple in turn. Then run it slowly down her stomach until you reach her genitals.
• Now rub your penis between her thighs, between the lips of her vulva, against the clitoris and finally against the vaginal opening.
• Now insert your penis a centimetre or so into her vagina and move it from side to side. Push it in and out shallowly, to tease her. Refuse to penetrate her at this stage, even if she asks you to.
For the occasional lovemaking 'extra', there are several fun things that you may like to try. Every couple varies in what they enjoy and do not enjoy, but clinical experience suggests some things that many people find exciting. It is up to you to experiment and then decide if they are suitable for you - or to discover your own pleasurable variations.
You can stimulate your partner's genitals with almost, any part of your body. With her on her stomach or back, you can rub your body against her bottom and vulva to arouse her. Put a leg between her thighs and rub her vulva with it. Sit her on your lap and give her a 'horse ride' as you stimulate her bottom and vulva with your body.
The possibilities are endless - just try for yourselves.
Hall of Fame superstar Nina Hartley teaches you everything you need to know about orally pleasing your partner in this revolutionary new how-to video. In graphic detail, Nina explains and demonstrates various techniques, gives her own personal insights on arousing your partner, and shares her years of experience. Celebrating a decade of erotic performing, Nina lovingly wrote and directed this video for every one of you interested in expanding your sexual horizon--and pleasing your partner! It's erotic, it's arousing, it's educational...it's Nina Hartley's Guide To Better Fellatio.
